There is so much I want to write right now. I feel like puking a million words to feel a little lighter.
My father is sick. Very sick. He’s in Israel and I am not there to suppot him. I feel the distance like a great big hole separating us and every day I make an effort to make this hole into a bridge and to see the way I am connected to him instead of thinking about the actual distance.
I decided a good way of being with him is to write to him right now, and hope he is feeling these words in his soul.
Well, obviously, dad, I do not want you to go anywhere. I selfishly want you to stick around and see my children grow, because they are a part of me and I know how much you love me, so I just think about the love you have for them. And how perfect it is to see the people you love enjoy each other. I also just really love you and love seeing you. I love listening to you talk, even now, that it’s not so clear, because your mind is so sharp. I have always admired your intelligence and your kindness so I’d like for you to stick around and keep doing good deeds that make people around you so happy.
Dad, you taught me to be strong and yet sensitive. To try to get what i want and what i need but to pay attention to the people and places on my way. To cherish people and to try to help the ones who ask for help. So I am going to try my hardest to do just that.
I am also learning from your mistakes. I am learning to say how I feel to the people around me. I am learning to distress as much as possible and I am changing my lifestyle and my diet because I want to be strong both emotionally and physically. This is not just for fun this is for life. I really enjoy life and I want to live it to the fullest.
I would love it if you stick around and see the changes in me. I really miss you and hope to be around you soon. I really pray you get better and come to visit us. We can enjoy a little traveling together.
(I also want to let you know that I forgive you )
Breath deep. Love you.